Okay, so my post tonight is very personal but I wanted to write about this just to show you that no matter what you're going through right now, you can get through it
Within the last year my Dad has become really ill. He collapsed last September and hit his head and from that, it triggered a bleed in his brain, and because of where it is, the Doctors can't do anything about it otherwise it will kill him, so he is living with Alzheimer's and Dementia. A few months ago he fell again in town, and this time, it put him in hospital for a month, this was really hard for me because for a while he didn't recognise me and that broke my heart more than anything because my dad is my absolute everything.
After that month of being in hospital, he got to come home, but I knew that it wouldn't ever be the same, there would be good days and bad days, and every day was a gamble! but that didn't matter because he was with me. However, yesterday, my dad had another fall and has become worse than we expected, now he is having hallucinations and he keeps hearing things that aren't there. At 2 am this morning, I was woken up by the noise of my dad moving around so I ran downstairs, he was trying to get into the kitchen but couldn't so I put him back to bed and sat with him until he was asleep again before I went back to bed before it was time for me to get up for sixth form. Today when I got in from sixthform, my dad explained to me that the reason he got up is because he heard a storm (there wasn't one) and that he had been sat talking to his friend (who has been dead for 4 yrs) and he even spoke to his parents, who are also dead. This really scared me and I don't have a clue what it means, could my Dad be coming to the end of his life, I am not sure.
I just wanted to share this with you guys because, although I am not fully coping, I mean, it's definitely hard to balance 4 A-levels, and caring for my Dad as well but I am a happy person. You probably don't understand how I stay so happy when my Dad is dying and there is nothing I can do about it. but the truth is, it's my faith, God gives me my strength, and to you, God may be a myth but he is my ultimate strength right now! It's very hard for me, and I am not a sad person, I had to grow up way before my time so now I don't express my emotions that well, which is why writing helps me. My life isn't easy, I often go to bed crying because I am worrying about my Dad, and work build up is stressing me out, but I can honestly say that, without God and the friends he has blessed me with, I would have ended my life by now, and I don't say that for attention or because it's a good one liner, I just feel like had it not been for my faith, and my friends, I would have nothing to live for
So yeah, now you can understand a bit of me, and if you're my friend and you read this, don't feel like you have to pussy foot around me, I am still YY!
Wednesday 25 September 2013
Thursday 19 September 2013
doing what makes YOU happy...
There is a lot of pressure in the world today for young people to know what they want to do with the rest of their lives, and if they don't, there is a hurried decision from teachers, parents, guardians, whoever it is that influences your future, to make the decision now, as if to say, if we don't do it now, then we will never will.
I know it's important to know what you want to do with your future, we all do! but that doesn't mean if we don't decide now then we won't succeed in life. Too many parents get to decide what their child does with their life and I don't think that is fair. Yes, okay, your parents raised you and therefore get a say in the path that your life chooses to take, but that should be it surely? why are parents and teachers allowed to tell you what subjects you can and can't choose, depending if they're good enough for you, or if they think you're good enough for them? why are parents allowed to say whether or not university is the right thing for us?
THEY ARE NOT. The only way these people influence our lives is if we let them. I am not telling you to disregard any advice you're given by yours parents or teachers because they do know what they're talking, but not all the time. They are treating us like adults, and asking us to make decisions that will determine the rest of our lives therefore, we should have the last say right? 'Adults' get to decided what they do with their lives, don't they? not always so, too many people don't enjoy what they're doing right now because somebody else made the decision for them.
Well, you don't need to be one of those people. You should be able to do what makes you happy and do it to your best. If you're some who is creative, and artistic, then go for it! work your hardest in that area and you will succeed. If you're someone who is talented in sports and that is what you love to do, then go for it! and you will succeed. Not everyone is born to be a Doctor, or a Lawyer or a successful Actor/Actress. Everyone has a different purpose for their life, surely society would have realised that by now. My brother was constantly being influenced and told what he could or couldn't do and he struggled to find something that he actually enjoyed, and now, he is living it up in Greece doing what he does best, having the best time of his life, entertaining families and people in Hotels and he is payed well, so where is the issue? there isn't one. but you'd never find, Holiday Entertainer in a prospectus would you? It's funny how the world works aye. But I believe you should chase after your dreams no matter what they are, screw society, go against the system and LIVE FOR YOURSELF
Wednesday 18 September 2013
Is there any need for it?
So, Today I struggled to find what I would write about on my blog tonight and as the day went on, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to give my views on people who are judgmental towards one another.
I can understand that people won't always get along, and people have reasons for not liking one another, but what I don't and won't ever understand is the need for people to purposely go out of their way to judge someone else.. Girls especially! The constant bitching and feeling like they have the right to classify that girl as 'ugly' or that other girl a 'slag'. People will constantly overuse the phrase 'sticks and stones make break my bones, but words will never hurt me', Well everyone knows that's a lie and quite possibly the worlds biggest..
It doesn't make you a weak person to admit that you were hurt by what someone said, in fact, it just makes you human.
But that isn't my point, my point is, we only have one life on this earth together, so why are we putting each other down? yes, I am aware this sounds cheesy and awfully hopeful, but that's okay isn't it? Surely, if our world focused on being supportive and encouraging people no matter what their chosen lifestyle, we could eradicate a number of psychological illnesses such as depression that are often a consequence of negative and irrational thoughts that have been planted into that person by the words of someone else. I am not saying depression is purely a product of irrational thoughts because it's not, there are biological factors as well however, the words you speak over someone will influence how they see themselves whether that be positive or negative.
I am not asking for everyone to be artificial and pretend to like one another because let's be honest, that's unrealistic, but just think about what you're speaking over the lives of the people you come into contact with and remember that nobody likes to feel worthless. Speak a positive word over someone and they'll remember it for a day, speak down on that person and they'll never forget. It doesn't hurt to be nice to one another, and if it hurts you, I'd rethink your principles.
I can understand that people won't always get along, and people have reasons for not liking one another, but what I don't and won't ever understand is the need for people to purposely go out of their way to judge someone else.. Girls especially! The constant bitching and feeling like they have the right to classify that girl as 'ugly' or that other girl a 'slag'. People will constantly overuse the phrase 'sticks and stones make break my bones, but words will never hurt me', Well everyone knows that's a lie and quite possibly the worlds biggest..
It doesn't make you a weak person to admit that you were hurt by what someone said, in fact, it just makes you human.
But that isn't my point, my point is, we only have one life on this earth together, so why are we putting each other down? yes, I am aware this sounds cheesy and awfully hopeful, but that's okay isn't it? Surely, if our world focused on being supportive and encouraging people no matter what their chosen lifestyle, we could eradicate a number of psychological illnesses such as depression that are often a consequence of negative and irrational thoughts that have been planted into that person by the words of someone else. I am not saying depression is purely a product of irrational thoughts because it's not, there are biological factors as well however, the words you speak over someone will influence how they see themselves whether that be positive or negative.
I am not asking for everyone to be artificial and pretend to like one another because let's be honest, that's unrealistic, but just think about what you're speaking over the lives of the people you come into contact with and remember that nobody likes to feel worthless. Speak a positive word over someone and they'll remember it for a day, speak down on that person and they'll never forget. It doesn't hurt to be nice to one another, and if it hurts you, I'd rethink your principles.
Tuesday 17 September 2013
Broken..
I am going to apologies now for any spelling mistakes I make and any previous ones from other blogs... You're probably wondering why today's blog title is called broken and I am going to tell you
After youth this evening, I decided that I wanted to cover the topic of broken families, which sadly, isn't uncommon in our society today. My family aren't broken in the sense that my Mum and Dad are divorced because that certainly isn't the case but we certainly aren't the world's most functional family. In fact we are far from it.. the issue with the people in my family is that we hold grudges, we're too stubborn to turn to each other and say look, I understand that we've been through a lot and had our differences but I am sorry.. those words aren't familiar to my family!
I don't know how many of you can relate to this, but for me, the importance of family is quite potentially the most important aspect of life, what good is it to live a life without the support of your family! and don't get me wrong, your family can be whoever you choose them to be, whether that be you're adopted or you don't have a Mother or a Father. but the important fact is, we need to cherish those in our family for better and for worse because when it comes down to it, generally speaking they're all we have on this earth. I guess for me it's slightly different as I am a Christian and spend a lot of my time in Church which is great because I am surrounded by an awesome church family and I know that someone has always got my back, but I understand that's not the case for everyone..
I know families argue, and people fall out, but I just want to encourage anyone who reads this that feels like their family is falling apart or that they never really had one in the first place. Try and resolve those issues because life is so much better when you have your family to turn to. I know it's easier said than done and someone could be reading this who has had the most awful upbringing and been a product of an abusive family and think I am talking a load of rubbish.. but you're not alone! I believe God loves every single one of you and that could mean absolutely nothing to you.. and fair enough if it doesn't, but I am always here to talk to you, and if you can't turn to your family support, I am always here for advice. and if you have read this and thought about how broken your family is, remember things that become broken, can always be fixed.
x
After youth this evening, I decided that I wanted to cover the topic of broken families, which sadly, isn't uncommon in our society today. My family aren't broken in the sense that my Mum and Dad are divorced because that certainly isn't the case but we certainly aren't the world's most functional family. In fact we are far from it.. the issue with the people in my family is that we hold grudges, we're too stubborn to turn to each other and say look, I understand that we've been through a lot and had our differences but I am sorry.. those words aren't familiar to my family!
I don't know how many of you can relate to this, but for me, the importance of family is quite potentially the most important aspect of life, what good is it to live a life without the support of your family! and don't get me wrong, your family can be whoever you choose them to be, whether that be you're adopted or you don't have a Mother or a Father. but the important fact is, we need to cherish those in our family for better and for worse because when it comes down to it, generally speaking they're all we have on this earth. I guess for me it's slightly different as I am a Christian and spend a lot of my time in Church which is great because I am surrounded by an awesome church family and I know that someone has always got my back, but I understand that's not the case for everyone..
I know families argue, and people fall out, but I just want to encourage anyone who reads this that feels like their family is falling apart or that they never really had one in the first place. Try and resolve those issues because life is so much better when you have your family to turn to. I know it's easier said than done and someone could be reading this who has had the most awful upbringing and been a product of an abusive family and think I am talking a load of rubbish.. but you're not alone! I believe God loves every single one of you and that could mean absolutely nothing to you.. and fair enough if it doesn't, but I am always here to talk to you, and if you can't turn to your family support, I am always here for advice. and if you have read this and thought about how broken your family is, remember things that become broken, can always be fixed.
x
Monday 16 September 2013
here goes something new...
So I am not entirely sure what your first blog post is meant to entitle but I thought I'd start off by telling you guys a little bit about me, I suppose that's a reasonable start. MY NAME IS Y'ETSHA, pronounce that how you will! I am a 17yr old Christian from the good ol' Great Britain and I a devoted bookwarm, I also love writing so this seemed like a sassy idea.
Urmm, I love Cath Kidston because she is my floral queen and music/dance are my passions, I like the sound of the guitar because it sounds beautiful and can make you feel a lot of things. I like to shop in Charity shops because you get the best bargains and there clothes are 10x better than the 'latest trends' and I am a very opinionated person, that's me win a nutshell
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